I'll Change Their Minds

I really want to dye my hair dark but make it red in the back…

Bad hair days are fixed with hats.

Dr. Suess is my hero…and this little coffee mug is perfect.

It’s not that my job has gotten better, it’s that I’m becoming numb over it…once I’m there of course.

The entire day I look at the clock feeling it edging closer and closer to me having to head out for work. The whole drive there I feel the dread and disgust with myself for working there, along with the fear that I messed something up or I’m going to have to talk to my boss.

Once I’m there I become fake. I put on this smile that I wear no where, I say my hellos but my legs move fast. I fall into the cycle. Signing in and grabbing my keys for my janitorial closet I head down to clock in. If it weren’t for the few people that stop to talk to me, I wouldn’t pause.

Once I punch my timecard I turn around to walk back to the building I clean. I stop only to get myself a drink. Then I put my headphones on and go. I don’t like to stop…I just want to get done.

Around 7:30 I take a break and go sit with a guy I went to school with, and two older ladies. They all talk and smoke, while I sit and listen. Sometimes, I talk…but not too often. 

I leave at 9:00 and then when I’m home I debate how tired I am…thus deciding whether I go to bed or I stay on my laptop for a little while.

Then the cycle continues.

This is not where I wanted, nor where I planned to be by this time.

I want to go back to college…and I guess I’m going to have to take it upon myself to make that happen.

I saw Iron Man 3 and all I can say is that it was a beautiful movie that literally left my speechless at the end.

Sometimes I miss going to school at PTI.

Then I remember I just miss the friends I made there.

I got a new job at AMB I’m not really sure what the place does, other than Westinghouse is one of their clients and they have tons of places and works world wide.

I’m going to be cleaning there, working from 5-9 just dusting, sweeping, and the occasional bathroom. 

The pay is 168 a week.

I’ll get weekends and holidays off as well…I mean you really can’t beat that.

I start Monday and for the first day I have to go in at 4:30 and I probably won’t get to leave until ten, but after that it’ll be 5-9 shifts.

This give me time to be on Skype and talk to everyone, write/roleplay, I’ll have my whole day and then I just go in for a small period of time [four hours] and clean up. 

This job gives me the chance to start school up again…which is great.

I just hope things will start to turn around.

Again.

I’ve been watching my grandparents dogs since Tuesday…and nothing too horrible has happened yet.

I’ve had a lot of time to myself, and with all this time I’ve sort of felt a bit lost…my minds racing faster and faster. Cause I’m just trying to figure out what I’m doing with my life.

I want to go back to school, and I want to be on my own again…but…everything is just so damn difficult when you’re growing up.

I’m not particularly fond of the new tumblr update.

Photo update.

4.17.13